♥

I haven't blogged in such a long time.

Isn't it funny that I've ended up in a career that predominantly centres on writing...and yet, I've written nothing for myself in the past few years.

I never thought I liked writing - I never even thought that I would be good at it. To be honest, I still don't think I am that good. But somehow I've landed various opportunities to write for money.

Recently, I am starting to realise that I may have a slight case of inferiority complex.

I never feel good at anything I do, just...mediocre. 

I've been writing my whole life, but I am never confident enough to say, or even think that I am remotely good at it. I keep having these thoughts that I am just familiar with words. Could this familiarity be deemed a talent?

I hardly think so.

In the past months, I've got myself involved in spinning. Spin-cycling, to be exact. I've enrolled myself in the training course to become an instructor. I know...LOL

After months of intense training and preparation, I somehow still don't feel like I am cut out to be one. People around me say I have potential but all I am thinking is...when will this potential turn into actual skill?

I am able to do the bare minimum. I can spin intensively, I can conduct classes without too much of a hiccup...but am I actually good? 

This inferiority complex spills into many other aspects of my life too. I am not smart. I am not kind. I am not pretty. I am not...anything to shout about.

How much harder do I have to try before I feel like I am worthy of the praises and compliments I daren't accept?

Will I always feel inferior?

Will I always be inferior?